So are you...? Am I...?

Hello. You all right?

Very strong performance, by the way, the apology.

You think you can get around me with compliments now?

I'm not your favourite chocolate in the box, I just wanted to say

I appreciate everything and whatever happens, I will fight for you, irrespective of what you did.

What I did?

I didn't do it Hugh, d'you remember? You sent the e-mail.

I'm sorry, I forgot. Forgot?!

No, I just can't get anything right, I'm going to shut my mouth and go away.

Hugh, go to the gents, please,

look at the man who's standing in front of you in the mirror and say, "Can I live with him, can I?"

You're in there. What else can go wrong?

Unless the energy system sets fire to my office and puts it out

by squirting human shit through the sprinklers.

Malcolm's coming this way. Oh, God.

Hugh, check it out - Malcolm Tucker is leaving the building.

Oh, right, yeah. Oh, I just wanted to say, well done, you slippery fuck.

Should be able to weasel out of this smelling like a perfumed trollop.

Thank you. No problem.

Hey, I'm going to have a swear box installed on Monday, by the way.

What? Fucking joking, you twat.

Right. I'm in turbo.

Laters.

Oi, how you doing?

Goodnight. Night.

This programme contains discriminatory language, strong language and adult humour

We're offering Tom Rudd Northern Ireland. He's expecting Transport.

He's making Paul Remington a Cabinet Minister.

Remtard Remington. I mean, the guy is an epic fuck-up.

He's so dense that light bends around him.

Come on, people! Let's get going here.

I've got a to-do list here that's longer than a fucking Leonard Cohen song.

Remtard at Energy and Climate Change. Really?

I'm not getting that. It's not on here.