Incident Reports

Yeah. Shit in my porridge.

Get a dart gun and go and fucking kill her.

I'll bundle her out during the melee. We need to stop Nicola announcing.

Rumour has it that the government is going to drop the breakfast club policy. Oh, shit!

You don't have a fucking signal? You must, from Hampstead Heath?

Didn't Nicola mention something about iceberg?

In times of deep crisis, tribal politics can act as a break upon it.

What is that? Breached birth? It's a fucking iceberg.

Undermining Nicola. You're getting off on this.

Oh, with the triangle thing. W.T.Fuck was that?

Do we know why the fuckers dropped it?

I would've been actually pleased to see you. Where the fuck were you?

Look, we're all still Team Nicola. We'll fight for you, won't we?

Oh, come on, Nicola, you'll be absolutely fine.

Fuck off, Olly. OK.

You're right, she can't fucking walk.

It's not a fucking pony, it's a fucking foal.

Peter Mannion has been picking on a man with a history of depression.

I barely had time to take myself for a shit.

Phil, I'm sure you have Peter withdrawal symptoms

What do you mean, you're in charge? You are not in fucking charge.

Thought camp, Peter, and isolation is the mother of renewal. We shall retreat to go forward.

Glenn. What? What the fuck are you doing here?

Come on, quick. Quick. Fuck, fuck, it's hot.

Cos it's party business. It's not ministerial.

While Peter is absent, I'm his surrogate - the king's hand.

When it's at your house? Peter!

Why am I the only senior minister here? Is JB punishing me?

Oh, I'm sorry, Peter, do you want to share your thoughts? Hmm?

That's it just put it at the side, Peter.

OK, Mary, you've got to help Peter work out what political concept he is. You have one guess left.

This is terrific, I mean, it's so fucking us it's brilliant.

Yes or no questions only, please, Peter.

You're out of questions, Peter.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Inclusivity's practically the same as diversity.

No, it's not. No, it isn't, Peter.