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Policy Unit Press Office Incident Reports

Last updated: 11/10/2025 | System ID: DQARS-2024

Incident Reports

Official documentation of various crises

1,794 items

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Search ministerial quotes

Jamie McDonald

Terri Coverley

Screenshots

Screenshot: Actually we can all sit down now. Thanks, Peter.

Actually we can all sit down now. Thanks, Peter.

Screenshot: Nicola Murray. We're assuming she's on her way out.

Nicola Murray. We're assuming she's on her way out.

Screenshot: and if it's Dan Miller we're fucked.

and if it's Dan Miller we're fucked.

Screenshot: And in the end, this is so fucking us. Fuck, yeah. Yeah.

And in the end, this is so fucking us. Fuck, yeah. Yeah.

Screenshot: As Peter's representative, it's as though you lied to him. That's probably illegal.

As Peter's representative, it's as though you lied to him. That's probably illegal.

Screenshot: If you want to see something probably illegal, pass me that fucking stapler over there.

If you want to see something probably illegal, pass me that fucking stapler over there.

Screenshot: The minister is unaware that you're here, so you have to leave.

The minister is unaware that you're here, so you have to leave.

Screenshot: Oh, brilliant. That is really good. Fuck! Tickle's dead!

Oh, brilliant. That is really good. Fuck! Tickle's dead!

Screenshot: Oh, shit. Jesus.

Oh, shit. Jesus.

Screenshot: Oh, Phil, for fuck's sake. I'm sorry, I just, you know...

Oh, Phil, for fuck's sake. I'm sorry, I just, you know...

Screenshot: Who's that? No-one. Ah, Minister, sorry.

Who's that? No-one. Ah, Minister, sorry.

Screenshot: She's your girlfriend. Get her a fucking tea.

She's your girlfriend. Get her a fucking tea.

Screenshot: I'm the minister. I don't even know where tea is made. Make her a tea.

I'm the minister. I don't even know where tea is made. Make her a tea.

Screenshot: with a fucking light sabre in his desk -

with a fucking light sabre in his desk -

Screenshot: running this department when Mannion's away. Yeah? It's a fucking joke.

running this department when Mannion's away. Yeah? It's a fucking joke.

Screenshot: I'm in charge because I'm a Jedi and you're a fucking Ewok.

I'm in charge because I'm a Jedi and you're a fucking Ewok.

Screenshot: As a minister I should at least express condolences.

As a minister I should at least express condolences.

Screenshot: That, that should come from Peter. But he's not here. I am.

That, that should come from Peter. But he's not here. I am.

Screenshot: Look, I speak for Peter and I say that we look guilty if we say we're sorry he died.

Look, I speak for Peter and I say that we look guilty if we say we're sorry he died.

Screenshot: and then you can't respond - you get sucked fucking inside out.

and then you can't respond - you get sucked fucking inside out.

Screenshot: Right, fuck. Adam, we need to.

Right, fuck. Adam, we need to.

Screenshot: This is just great, this is just fucking great.

This is just great, this is just fucking great.

Screenshot: Right, I'm in fucking charge and I am going Nordic drama.

Right, I'm in fucking charge and I am going Nordic drama.

Screenshot: so just fucking ring me, OK?

so just fucking ring me, OK?

Screenshot: Fuck it, the whole of university.
PHONE RINGS

Fuck it, the whole of university. PHONE RINGS

Screenshot: No, I can categorically say that Peter Mannion will not be resigning over this.

No, I can categorically say that Peter Mannion will not be resigning over this.

Screenshot: SHE LAUGHS No! No, Peter's not resigning!

SHE LAUGHS No! No, Peter's not resigning!

Screenshot: Peter, Peter, I want to hear new ideas ricocheting off your sinuses like a pinball,

Peter, Peter, I want to hear new ideas ricocheting off your sinuses like a pinball,

Screenshot: Yes and ho. You idiot, that's fucking mental.

Yes and ho. You idiot, that's fucking mental.

Screenshot: No blocking, Peter, only counterpoint.

No blocking, Peter, only counterpoint.

Screenshot: Good idea, bad idea? Good idea for me. I wouldn't get any more of your fucking emails.

Good idea, bad idea? Good idea for me. I wouldn't get any more of your fucking emails.

Screenshot: Try and stay cross-legged if you can, Peter. Don't break the circle.

Try and stay cross-legged if you can, Peter. Don't break the circle.

Screenshot: I'm 54, Stewart. My knees are fucked and my patience is snapped.

I'm 54, Stewart. My knees are fucked and my patience is snapped.

Screenshot: Some of us had to go through this hippy shit the first time around.

Some of us had to go through this hippy shit the first time around.

Screenshot: No. Give me the fucking ball, Stewart.

No. Give me the fucking ball, Stewart.

Screenshot: Just suppose your free-range, no-consequences bullshit

Just suppose your free-range, no-consequences bullshit

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