Incident Reports

That would be, er, Peter Mannion and to a lesser extent Fergus Williams.

"The fucker's a nutbag."

How was your relationship with Nicola Murray?

And your relationship with Peter Mannion?

"How Nicola Murray went from gold to lead in six months."

there are funding issues, there's the justice minister crisis

(Fuck's sake.)

Or, you know, or call me, er, the blonde bombshite,

they, they call you Mariella Shitstrop.

Er, Oliver Reeder, you were a senior advisor to Nicola Murray

should be Prime Minister!

he, he, you know, he hated Nicola Murray because she'd previously

You left Nicola Murray, and you went to work for Fergus Williams.

That to Peter. Oh, good morning, Minister!

This one is Nicolas Cage on a plane.

Peter, quick reminder, Think Socially,

I'm in the minister's office. Oh, great! Oh, no, the proper one!

Well, can you just be a fucking professional and get Fergus in here?

Ah. Yeah, OK, err, um, Peter, may I just... No, you may not.

a time-sensitive decision, I have got a stamp from Peter,

What the fuck are you trying to do, prove the Mayans right?

"to fuck up on the same day?" "Yes, I can!"

Ah, Peter. This War of the Roses with the Home Office?

But, er...Peter and I have just been discussing this very issue.

Stewart, any thoughts from within your fucking dream yurt?

a ringing endorsement to a piece of shit that I've never even heard of?

Because, right now, I want to double stamp on your fucking throat.

Um... I did apologise, didn't I, for telling you to fuck off?

I've got plenty of places to fuck off to.

It's just another day at the fuck office.

their fucking heads are coming off and frightening the kids.

Except every screaming atom of that etiolated stick of fuck you call a body says that.

And you are not Malcolm Fucking Tucker.

You're not even fucking Manchester's top Malcolm Tucker tribute band.

Trying to be me will fucking kill you. I give you 18 months

with no fucking bladder control.