Incident Reports

Because he's only supposed to send the fucking top part of it!

Adam, there is now shit all over me! Oh, Jesus Christ!

How come there is shit on me? Thanks, Adam!

Look, it's not my fucking fault! He's supposed to redact it!

I just wanted one solid shit, to go in one direction.

Not Madras, fucking everywhere!

Alastair, yeah, it's Peter Mannion.

2,000-year-old man! Why the fuck did you send the whole email?! Huh?

not the whole fucking exchange.

Why the fuck... The only reason I'd ever ask Terri for help,

Yeah, and that, in a nutshell, is the whole fucking problem!

# Fuck you very much. #

That chinless horse fiddler, our fucklustrious PM has opened

Pandora's fucking Box and curled a massive steamer right into it.

But what leak, what leak, what fucking leak?!

that would fill the fucking Caspian Sea!

No, no, what you are Peter, is leak zero. It started here.

You have presided over a shambolic showering of info. Peter Mannion.

Yes, you sound really shocked, you big fucking spunk lolly.

What the fuck is going on?!

All right, Fergus. What the fuck is going on?

To paraphrase a popular fucking Bangles song.

Don't start contradicting me on that kind of shit.

Dark shit builds up and then it bursts.

It's your fucking come face, isn't it?

Who am I? Fucking Kirsty Wark?

I, Peter Mannion.

Nicola Alison Murray.

Quiet Batpeople on every fucking paper!

not the whole fucking exchange!

Dark shit builds up.

What the fuck is going on? There's going to be an inquiry.

about the Quiet Batpeople, er, policy of Mrs Nicola Murray.

the PFI e-mail that led to the...to the resignation of Nicola Murray.

erm, "fucking Florence Shiteingale".

Well, technically, essentially, we just advise a minister.