Incident Reports

wouldn't fucking go, would you?

All right, go on then. Fuck all.

Oh, do they, fuck all? People have no fucking opinion about you.

You're like fucking Special K or fucking the Moody Blues.

Were you the Einstein that OK'd this fucking Andy Murray thing at DoSAC

pre-announced on Twitter by fucking Ryan Giggs.

Shit!

Shit! That's DoSAC for you.

fucking hairdresser. Got any photos?

He's Spinney fucking Hendrix.

Nicola, you and your department have screwed up.

I'd like to agree with the previous speaker only adding the words "fucking royally."

Do not fucking call me sweetheart.

You fucking will not draft any fucking statement. I've been minding the shop.

You were fucking minding the shop and what happened?

A bunch of fucking school kids came in and fucking dropped

their trousers and fucking had a shit in aisle five.

Don't tell him that. Fucking...

Stop digging. Shut the fuck up.

Goodbye, give my regards to the rest of the fucking Village People.

< Nicola, excuse me, it's Andy Murray,

Fucking talk to him. No. You cannot be serious!

very pleasant distraction from Steve's fucking crime stats abortion.

If we need a fucking celebrity, can we try somebody else?

Steve Redgrave. He's a boring fuck.

Lewis Hamilton. Fucking boring.

Boring fuck and fucking drives a car.

Fucking cyclist, are you fucking mental? Everybody hates cyclists.

And she's a boring fuck as well.

"Hello there, hi, everyone, I, Nicola Murray would like to say to you

Are you saying to me that my wee caravan is a complete fucking waste of time?

And my stupid fucking wing mirror extensions?

Listen, if you're not a prostitute or a pizza guy, fuck off.

Steve, could you eat or fuck whatever is at the door on your fucking way out, please?

Listen, son, the only fucking vibe you have to worry about is the one

I said fuck off!