It'll be like the fucking War Of The Roses or Aids, remember Aids?

Listen, Nicola, did Julius mention to you about his inquiry?

Yeah. The inquiry into the whole fucking crime stats cock-up? Yeah.

good press attention for your fucking healthy choices nonsense.

How about that? I'll get you some big fucking healthy headlines.

You can't even get a fucking bagel cleaned up off your door. Do you mind?

You're looking at fucking Lazarus, sweetheart,

and not just plain Lazarus, I'm fucking self-raising Lazarus, right?

Yes, I'll tell Nicola to expect your call healthy choices sometime this afternoon. ..Well done, Malcolm.

not fucking Rangers' supporters.

audience with Peter fucking Bowles.

That's really fucking scary. I'm walking on, we're moving on.

I saw... I thought Nicola was choking. She wasn't, she was laughing

What is it? What's your problem? Have you fucking coughed up your own twin?

No, Tom isn't immediately available to you. Fuck off.

Malcolm, the Prime Minister respects you enormously.

Fuck off!

Your five minutes starts now. Fuck off.

Would it seem terribly rude if I asked you to shit off for five minutes? Yes, it would it.

Julius... Can you fuck off as well! Excuse me. Julius, what's the deal?

Shit.

Minister has to say about that?

Listen to me a minute, the Prime Minister...

You, fucking Nicola, tell them, fucking tell them there was no fucking phone call.

Speak, I fucking ask you, speak!

I'm not here, Malcolm. You are fucking here.

Open your fucking mouth for once and say something. I'm not getting involved.

You fucking speak, you've always something to say.

I'm only a Cabinet Minister. Fuck off then! Don't fucking touch me.

Come on, Malcolm. You cannot fuck me, I am unfuckable.

I have never been fucked. And if you fucking try and fuck me,

you'll find my fucking arse will grow fucking fangs.

And fucking snap your cock off. Will you listen to me?

You don't have the fucking balls apart from that fucking inflated

fucking boil on the fucking end of your fucking neck...