Incident Reports

Thank you very much. ..way of writing a fucking awful story.

fucking laughing their heads off about the Apprentice or whatever.

So Nicola, we talked about immigration. What's going to happen

The department's shit, they're fucking shit.

She's working her fucking lady bollocks off trying to get things done in there.

Fuck's sake. Well, a week is a short time in politics.

Fantastic. That's great. What's a trademark Nicola Murray policy?

Shit. Shit. Hey! French Lieutenant's woman, we're over here. Come on.

For fuck's sake. Have we not both got BlackBerries to check?

Fuck's sake!

fucking adjective to add to fucking smug and glum, haven't we?

Fucking retarded! Jesus!

It's a fucking newspaper office.

It's not a fucking sanatorium for the fucking deaf, is it? Are you so dense?

Better tell this little person about the Prime Minister's catastrophic erectile dysfunction.

Fucking Ollie? He's a fucking knitted scarf, that twat. He's a balaclava.

Not just Terri, I'm not going to name names, but there's Robyn. Robyn's shit.

All right. Fuck off.

Nicola. Fuck. What've I done?

Don't you worry, because I can still steer some fucking flaming wreckage in your direction.

Darling, I wouldn't fucking piss on you if you were allergic to piss.

Fuck right off. Go on.

We'll live through this, won't we? Nicola, I've got the list whenever you're ready. I'm ready now.

Oh, fuck! From now on, none of us let her out of our sight.

She's not to be trusted. Sorry, Minister. Terri?

absolutely fine to leave your minister alone with a hostile journalist

I imagine I'm going to have to be doing it over and over again until you go on the fucking course.

Top of the list is Kelly Peters. No.

Why not? She's a very nice girl, Kelly Peters. She's very kind.

Shit. Malcolm. Hello.

Really? Fuck shoes!

Shit. OK, we're off.

E-fucking-nuff.

You need to learn to shut your fucking cave, right?

Today, you have laid your first big, fat egg of solid fuck.

There would be no fucking Beatles, that's what.