Mind you, that means you could have his department. You are kidding. Well, fuck you very much.

I know you're looking for mouth-to-mouth on the reshuffle, but I know nothing.

The PM is still working it out on the back of a Coldplay CD as we speak. Are you in, sir?

Oh, this is Julius Nicholson. Hello. Nice to see you again. What proposals have you got for us today?

How about a ban on sandcastles?

No, I just wanted to find out if you're coming to my FSG briefing this afternoon.

FSG briefing? Forward Strategy Group.

Well, you know, Julius, I think I'm just going to have to send one of the boys.

I have got so much work to do here, what with this...

Well... .the MoD.

As the minister said to the prince, "Don't be surprised if we abolish you."

I'll leave it with you.

That was a bit, um...

Are you all right? I'm fucking all right. I can fucking look after myself.

Under the spotlight now, aren't you? Well, you should just watch your own back,

what with the missus dripping poison into the big guy's ear about you. What missus?

The Prime Minister's missus. Oh, you don't know?

She doesn't like the cut of your jib, son. She doesn't... She's hardly seen my jib.

I just had a conversation with her at the New Year's party, that's all.

Why doesn't she like me? I mean, what's not to like?

You just didn't click. We couldn't click! We were talking about the fucking Euro!

How are you supposed to click over the Euro? It's fucking impossible. Don't take it so personally.

You're telling me she doesn't like me as a person! How else am I supposed to take it?

Robyn, can you send these back to archives cos they're just not even...

It's not highlighted. I'm not gonna plough through that myself.

I also need the last four months of the European Digest. I'll...

Is it because you fancy me? Is that what this is all about?

Sorry? Why you're so bloody rude to me.

That's got to be the reason. Other people, when they come in here,

they knock and they say "hello", "good morning", "thank you" and "nice top" sometimes.

Right, um... Well, no. I mean, for a start, I don't fancy you.

I don't know where you got that, but it's best to get it out of your head.

If I'm slightly polite to you, on a semi-regular basis, will that, in any way bypass it?

That would definitely do it. Well, thank you very much for the work you do.

Hi, by the way, how are you?

I'm very well actually. You look lovely.