Tripling the number of quiet carriages on intercity trains.
Oh, wow, what a big exciting hard-on moment that's going to be.
That's not bad at all. Did you just think of that? Straight out of there.
Hugh, after Cabinet, you are going to...
Talk to Tucker about the reshuffle. Yeah. I'll pop in and just slip it in during the conversation.
Good. Much as you intended to do with Robyn, I suspect.
Right, next. What about Julius Nicholson?
I got it yesterday he was looking at the MoD taking over UK security from the Home Office.
That was flown by one of Nicholson's mob. I'm spending half my time
dealing with this rubbish that Nicholson's putting out there.
There's a Sunday piece in the pipeline about you and him not getting along.
I wondered if you'd got a line. Julius Nicholson is a hugely respected adviser.
He now has a wide-ranging brief and his blue-sky vision and
helicopter thinking will enable this government to go,
in his own phrase, "beyond delivery and beyond that".
That's the line, OK? And if he does stick his baldy head round your door and comes up with some stupid idea
about policemen's helmets should be yellow or let's set up a department to count the moon,
just treat him like someone with Alzheimer's disease, you know?
Just say to him, "Oh, yeah, that's lovely.
"We must talk about that later," OK?
In no way, shape or form is it going to have... KNOCK AT DOOR
Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off.
I'll come the fuck in, then. It's just something that Nicholson's flown.
It's a kind of brain exercise, like, "What would it be like if men had tits?" You know?
Mark Mardell, yeah. That's very good actually.
All right then, see you then. Hugh. I thought you would want to know as soon as possible. What?
Terri's dad... Yeah?
No news at the moment. Right, so you've come to talk about the reshuffle? Yeah, I have.
Yeah? In terms of shuffly stuff,
how is Neil? I mean,
is his heart...?
Have you not heard? No.
He's paralysed. Oh, no.
Neil's on wheels.
You're kidding. He's a vegetable.
Oh, my God. Yeah.