"to fuck up on the same day?" "Yes, I can!"

So, this government arrest backlog is a really lovely gift token...

Mmm. The question is, what does Daddy buy with it?

Err, you, the daddy man, err, you could...

how about you point up the split between the HO and DoSAC?

Take the sort of, a "government divided" route. Nice.

Meanwhile, an unarrested feral underclass has gone Mad Max,

and police station waiting rooms are heaving like the hedgehog carvery at a Gypsy wedding.

PHONE RINGS

Oh, I do apologise, excuse me. I need to take this.

We need to drop Malcolm. Right. I can't get on my high horse

about crime issues the day after my director of communication

may have, ie definitely HAS, committed perjury.

And I like getting on my high horse.

I look good on it. Like a knight.

So they're actually going to pursue this?

Right. Thanks for the heads-up, mate, yeah.

Listen, I need a police station with a lot of exits and entrances,

in case the press show up.

Sam. Sam, Sam. Brentford, right, OK.

Listen, Sam. Get a hold of Greg Fraser for me. I need some hard lawyering.

OK. Pink. Pink, pink flowers.

Pink. For my mother. It's her 80th birthday.

Lovely big bouquet of pink ones.

Lovely. How are you doing?

I'm bitchin', yes, I'm as busy as a two-twatted hooker.

Great. I was thinking, Malcolm...

Maybe you should take a bit of time off, just maybe tour the Highland distilleries,

or whatever it is your people do, you know? Take up stunt kiting.

Well, we don't take advice from a guy who looks like he gels his hair by sticking it up a cow's vagina.

All right, fair enough.

Here's an idea that you could pitch to Millertron 3,000. Yes.

Get him to go to a police station, yeah?

But pick a big one, right? Right. Lewisham. It's more impact in a big one. Yeah, yeah.

But make sure you get as many press there as possible. Yeah. OK.

Dan Miller is visiting a police station.