Thanks.

Are you not the human router?

The human router, yes.

But I think you'll find that leaking is very much a 3G business.

You know? It's, it's off the house wi-fi grid.

I assume you're referring to the leaking of Mr Tickel's

medical records, and I would like to say, I find that disgraceful,

and I would like that on the record.

Everything we say here is on the record,

Mr Williams, that's how this works.

Well, that's great.

When I was a journalist, OK, when I, when I was a journalist at the Mail, I used leaks.

Now I'm in government, I do not leak.

Wayne Rooney, for example, he used to score goals for Everton.

And now he plays for, for Manchester United.

Now, nobody expects him to score goals for Everton any more, do they?

I mean, if he did that, United would give him the sack.

..although you did previously describe yourself as a shepherdess.

Now, did you have something to add to that?

I just, shepherdess, did she say, did you say shepherdess?

Yes, I was, I was giving an analogy, I mean to be, to be fair,

Perhaps it would be more accurate to describe myself

as a sheep in shepherdess's clothing.

Do you follow?

Err, no, not, not, er, completely. No.

The shepherdess analogy is flawed anyway.

Malcolm Tucker is very much a political Flintstone. You know.

He carved his press releases into stone tablets.

He uses a bird's beak to play his Happy Monday vinyls. He leaks.

This programme contains very strong language from the start and adult humour.

We're on dual commentary. Yeah, like the tennis.

Yeah, sadly without Boris Becker.

I'm surprised Sue Barker doesn't sink her teeth into his thighs, aren't you?

OK, team, we need to get it out there that the police arrest backlog

is not a DoSAC FUBAR, OK?

The Home Office cut paperwork, there are more bobbies on the beat.