Caption: We're on dual commentary. Yeah, like the tennis.

He carved his press releases into stone tablets.

He uses a bird's beak to play his Happy Monday vinyls. He leaks.

This programme contains very strong language from the start and adult humour.

Yeah, sadly without Boris Becker.

I'm surprised Sue Barker doesn't sink her teeth into his thighs, aren't you?

OK, team, we need to get it out there that the police arrest backlog

is not a DoSAC FUBAR, OK?

The Home Office cut paperwork, there are more bobbies on the beat.

No-one to process them at the stations.

I doubt there are any major criminals on the loose, this is about paperwork,

it's not Con Air! I mean, I wish it was!

That to Peter. Oh, good morning, Minister!