He is, and he is complete poison. Ah, The Fucker!

And you thought he was just a myth created to frighten naughty MPs into eating all their truffles and swan.

Watch my lips. Cal Richard is not here.

Cal! Hello.

Hi. Hi, Stuart. Good to see you. I didn't know about this. JB didn't say anything.

I just wanted it to be a surprise. Yeah, why are you here?

Well, I thought I'd just check in with the intellectual powerhouse of the party. Emma.

If you want to step in the office, I'll dismiss the children and we can talk.

No. Because I'm kidding, aren't I?

No, because... I've come here to tell you that you're fucking sacked.

Halle-bloody-lujah!

Shall I escort Stuart from the building? Don't be such a fucking turncoat.

Excellent idea. While you're there, could you do me another favour?

Could you find a hostel, go there and take a fucking overdose of barbiturates?

Yeah, right. OK, well, I'm not fired.

You can't fire me, Cal, so shall we just cut to the chase? Hmm?

"Ah, you can't fire me, Cal, cos you're..."

Gotcha. I'm kidding. Of course you're not fired.

Look at your face.

Funny. I'm sensing a change of management styles here, from touchy-feely to smashy-testes.

No, OK, joking aside. I'm just an impartial observer.

Quite partial, obviously, so... Take it away, Captain Mainwaring.

All right, folks. Listen up.

We have three key targets when we are smart-bombing our beloved PM,

and they are the deficit, unemployment, lack of leadership.

Get on to the J drive. You'll find key... Fuck, that is brilliant!

That is inspired! What sauce!

Get in!

It's the economy, Stu-pot!

Fuck, what I really need to do is shoot you all in the back of the head! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

But I can't, because it's illegal!

OK, I'd like a small cappuccino, two extra shots, please.

I think we've got a long night ahead of us.

Come on! I'm coming.

Better the devil you know, huh?

Five years.