Fire up the mid-range saloons. Nicola Murray, just the girl!

What the hell is going on here?

In 20 minutes' time, the Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

is going to announce that he's calling the election.

Shitting Henry!

Thank you very much. OK, how...

What I don't... How are you announcing... The Cabinet haven't... We haven't actually had...

So how...? Wh, wh, wh...

Exactly, exactly, exactly, Nicola! See that, that fucking gibbering?

That's what everyone is doing now, the fucking cabal, the fucking opposition, fucking us!

We have grabbed the initiative. Yeah, for maybe five minutes.

Well, life is just a succession of five minuteses! Oh, great. So you're Buddha, now, are you?

Yeah, if Buddha had been on the cover of GQ.

Yeah, could you get me the Yale Centre For Economic Renewal, please?

Why are you ringing them? Stay.

Stay. No, look. Please don't ring...! Don't fucking ring her.

Hello? Relax. You've got plenty of time. It's not ringing. Loads of... Oh, it is ringing.

It's time to tell the Yanks to fuck off. Come on.

Going leafleting in Neasden, yeah? You have no right to do this. I'll not be bounced by you.

Listen, if you quit now, you might well cost us this election, right?

Bollocks. But see if we win, there will be rewards.

You've seen the Foreign Office.

It's fucking huge, isn't it?

Don't make me do this. Stay.

OK, I'll stay.

Hello, yes, sorry, I'd just like to put you on to our mutual acquaintance, Nicola Murray.

She's got something she wants to tell you. Hannah... Um...

There's nobody there. Yeah, I spoke to her already. You fucker!

I'm going to put a word in for you about the Foreign Office job.

They're always looking for cleaners there. You fucker, Malcolm!

All right, then! Listen up, my Children of a Lesser God.

You'll find a file marked "Snap Election Drill" on the J drive.

If you don't know how to access the J drive, hand your pass in at reception,

go and buy some silver body paint and pretend to be a robot on the South Bank. Fly, my pretties, fly!

Stuart! Stuart? The Fucker's downstairs. No, no, no.

He's not downstairs, but if he were, I'd know about it and if I knew about it, I would have vetoed it.