I can't work the coffee machine.

Fantastic news, isn't it?

Yep, I'm going back to be much freer. Two free weeks.

So... did I miss anything?

Glenn won a pound on the scratchcard.

That's my retirement sorted!

So, we get out there and hust, do we?

Hmm? Hust. We go to the hustings. Don't think it's a verb, is it, Glenn? Well, all right, um...

Could you do me a huge favour? Mmm-hmm.

Could you just not talk for a second?

OK.

I think we're just playing it in the wrong key.

It's when we go, "Red and yellow and blue..."

What's she talking about? She's putting on her annual production of Joseph in Hemel Hempstead.

She doesn't licence it ever because she considers Joseph to be public domain.

But I need to just pitch it a little higher.

More like, "Red and yellow and..."

She's directing it. And starring. As Jacob. With a beard?

One assumes so. Or she'll let herself go for a couple of weeks, see what happens.

I know what people say to you, right? They say,

"We hate you." I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

Everybody hates you.

So fucking what? Some people, they just fucking love to hate.

Some people, they'd fucking walk around the fucking Garden of Eden

fucking moaning about the lack of fucking mobile reception.

These are the kind of fucks who watched Mandela, fucking Nelson Mandela...

..walk to freedom, and said, "Is Diagnosis Murder not on the other side?"

So we fucking forget about them.

This Government's run this country into the ground.

This used to be a green and pleasant land.

Now it's the colour of the fucking BBC weather map.

It looks like anaemic dogshit.

JB, Cal Richards,

and their hordes of fucking robots.

They're coming over the hill towards us and all you've got to do is this.

Bend down, pick up any fucking weapon you can and twat the fuckery out of them.