Hello... Hello, Mr Murray.

I can assure you that you'd remain my number-one choice...

but I put it together and I don't get to have the final say

on anything really,

in any section of my life at all, or even in my personal life. Stop digging.

Stop digging. Shut the fuck up.

Ignore him. Just come with me, come into my office.

Malcolm, Malcolm! Malcolm!

Sorry about this, everybody.

Goodbye, give my regards to the rest of the fucking Village People.

< Nicola, excuse me, it's Andy Murray,

he's insisting on talking to you.

Talk to him. What? Get him back on board.

Fucking talk to him. No. You cannot be serious!

Is that an attempt at a joke?

He told me to kill it, I've killed it.

Right now, some photos in the papers of a very boring man with tight white shorts is going to be a

very pleasant distraction from Steve's fucking crime stats abortion.

If we need a fucking celebrity, can we try somebody else?

Steve Redgrave. He's a boring fuck.

Lewis Hamilton. Fucking boring.

Boring fuck and fucking drives a car.

Fucking cyclist, are you fucking mental? Everybody hates cyclists.

< Paula Radcliffe.

And she's a boring fuck as well.

How about we just launch the policy without a celebrity? Oh, great idea(!)

"Hello there, hi, everyone, I, Nicola Murray would like to say to you

down on carbs."

Lads, let's get this crime stats cock-up sorted.

What have you got both got so far? We've been trying to think of a replacement for Andy Murray. Yeah.

Some of the women footballers, Jessica Clarke or Sue Smith.

Or Faye White.

I cannot believe the energy going into Andy Murray.

I can't...!

What's his problem?

at the heart of government,