Newcastle, Nicola Murray, yes. She's still there.

So fucking can Andy Murray and get on with the fucking crime stats.

I'll make sure Kate liaises with my press whiz kid, Terri Coverley.

She's a woman. But, listen, if there's anything else we can do for you, please don't hesitate to call.

Dare I say it, we are here to serve, if you'll excuse the pun!

All right, Andy, take care, bye.

Malcolm says we have to drop him.

What?! Andy, he's not in, he is now out, apparently, according to Malcolm,

sent to bed without any barley water.

But he's an fucking tennis player. We're not asking Shane MacGowan, why?

looks desperate.

It's the sign of a dying government. We are a dying government!

Our hair's falling out and we are coughing up blood and our kids are asking us to change the will!

He was quite clear about this. He said kill it, kitten, breeze-block, sack, canal.

you've got to get on to... Me?

Andy Murray's people and find a polite way of saying piss off, Andy,

apparently you're too well known to front our public awareness campaign.

Excellent.

Fuck me. What's the hell's this? It appears to be a trolley full of crime stats.

Vandalism, bicycle theft, oh, this is ridiculous!

Well, that's given us an unexpected head start, well done.

add you to the fucking figures.

Think about what you are going to say. OK, I've done that.

What, already? Is that enough time. Kate, hello, Terri Coverley.

Yes. We are thrilled about Andy being on board. Get on with it.

No, I'm not actually saying...

End the call.

Steve Fleming's here. Put the phone down.

Ah...Nicola Murray!

How are the crime stats coming along?

It's not easy, Steve, as you can see but Glenn and Ollie are on top of it.

"Other theft", what the fuck is "other theft"? If you want to stay late or

through the night on this?

It would be very much appreciated upstairs.

Well, I'm an atheist.

By the Prime Minister.