Incident Reports

Fucking press!

You could hang yourself. Fuck off!

Yes, yes, maybe they can do me a favour and throw you down the fucking stairs.

This is basically the same fucking exit.

Hey! Get the fuck back here!

you'll be able to tell the price of your next shit.

Why the fuck have you brought me to a police station

I've just been chased into a cab. It's like Hard Day's fucking Night.

Come on, give me my fucking dignity... Er, thanks for calling.

Christ's sake! It's Tora fucking Bora all over again.

This is fucking awesome, it's like COBRA! I hope I get defence next.

Want the headset now, don't you? Fuck off.

Come on, bring out your fucking dead.

but over the last two years, you've bent like a human fucking palm tree,

swaying to the guff of these six-toed, born-to-rule pony fuckers.

Oh! Spare us this Peter Finch bullshit.

so thank fucking God you have no power.

And, Peter, it's been dreadful. I hope your cock falls off.

Fuck you all up the wrong 'un! Ta-ta! Bye-bye!

Fuck, no! He's gone completely mental.

Out of my way, you fucking human Mooncup.

Oh, I do feel grubby. I feel fucking great! It's a huge scalp.

with a fine 12-year-old Glen-fuck it?!

Drinking on the job, Peter. Why not? You've already got the efficiency of a man who's half-cut.

Peter? Sorry, the Sun have just been on.

he's gone back and attacked the wife and children. Oh, shit in the couscous!

Both departments were too busy with the backlogs. Fuck it all!

Can this be double-stamped? Fuck the stamps!

Terri, meeting in my office. Well, uh, in Peter's office. Well, I'm meeting in my office.

What a shit day!