This here is fucking series 10 of The Big Breakfast. And do you know what you are?

You're the fucking dinnerlady that they have asked to come and present the show.

your fucking earrings, your fucking cleavage and your dress - which, by the way, is WAY too loud.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

I don't want to go to fucking Dover or France.

That's a super message to send out. It shows you've got principles... For fuck's sake, Ollie.

Fuck. This is going to split our vote.

This isn't Tsarist Russia or the fucking Dimblebys!

What do we do? Send everyone to support Liam Bentley, including the Prime Minister.

The dead fucker. God rest him. Yeah, I did a bit, back home.

Sad? Lying on your back getting fed nutrients through a tube? It's my idea of a fucking holiday.

Can I go? Of course, you can fucking go.

Never fucking easy.

Have you been asleep in a box full of straw like a Blue Peter tortoise?

Nicola would like to see you.

Malcolm, Nicola will be there in a minute.

..Nicola Murray.

Don't you think? Are you going to resign, Minister?

Little bit edgy. Can you please make sure Nicola's right in the middle?

Not there, it fucking doesn't.

It's not even funny. Why do people fucking do that on YouTube?

You're expecting me to choose between fucking up my daughter's life or my husband's life?

Yeah. So I just have to choose between them like they're on some fucking cosmic dessert trolley?

If the press run with both stories, you're fucking dead.

this massive fucking out of proportion Israeli-style response.

You don't realise, I'm your fucking fairy godfather, right? God help me.

I'm your fairy fucking godfather, but I haven't got a magic wand that I can wave about.

I've got a fucking Blackberry and a chiff. You've got a decision to make. Talk to you later.

And you need to fucking listen to me, Russell, you fucking Antipodean fucking kangaroo-loving fruitcake.

That's fucking small fry.

But this lift, I mean, it's fuckng huge.

That's fucking great.

That's another fucking thing right there.

Not only have you got a fucking bent husband and a fucking daughter that gets taken to school

in a fuckng sedan chair, you're also fucking mental. Jesus Christ, see you,