I'm on my way down to see you by the front door of the office.

Have you decided?

Oh, shit. Yes, Malcolm, you know I have. I decided the minute you told me I had to decide.

I'm going to change Ella's schools.

Good for you.

I'm going to try to get your social mobility thing moving.

I'll talk to the Chancellor and I'm going to keep banging away at it.

Like Charles Hawtrey on a sleeping guardsman.

OK.

She's very bright, so...

They say if you're very bright then it sort of doesn't matter what school you go to.

That's true.

That is very true.

Hey!

See you later, state educator.

It's a highly expensive lumbar-support chair,

for God's sake. Oh, don't be ridiculous!

I mean, that's paper recycling.

It's not going to be there, is it?

I'll call you in the morning

and if you're not there, you're in big trouble.

Glenn, see this

Dickensian hysteric who's just gone home, here's what you do, right.

You make like the Great Oz, yeah?

You make a big noise to impress Nicola,

but secretly you're wanking behind the curtain to me

all the time. You want me to pass information to you?

Don't kill yourself, though. Well, not over this.

I just want you to make her feel good, you know.

You can be a friend of Dorothy's, can't you?

Then we'll all get some fucking peace around here.

Right, I'm away to wipe my arse on pictures of Nick Robinson.

I'm getting good. I can give him a quiff.

This programme contains adult humour and strong language.

I'm sorry I woke everybody up. We could give the kids earplugs. Or sedate them.

Oh, bollocks! First in the SACK race.