We know you're safe, Terri! How do we know you're safe?

We know you were safe because you keep using the word safe like bloody Jim Bowen.

You've got DOSAC, that's safe. Do you want to go for the Treasury, young lady?

OK. Mrs Walton.

What about these other kids? What ages are they?

They're 11, nine and five.

11?

Mm-hmm.

So that's secondary school. No, she's still at primary.

State primary.

Lovely little school with terrible SATS results but really good broad demographic and steel band.

She will be going to secondary school in September?

Yeah. Yeah.

So, I can see where this is going.

Em, it's not an issue. Great!

If it's not an issue, I'll fucking toddle off.

I'll go and have a nice relaxing wee sleep under my duvet.

I won't tug myself off because I'm so relaxed

because I know that there is no fucking issue here, right?

She's not going to the comprehensive, Malcolm.

She's going to a local independent school.

Jesus H fucking Corbett!

Do you honestly believe that as a minister you can get away with that?

You are saying that

all your local state schools, all the schools that this government

has drastically improved, are knife-addled rape sheds and that's not a big story?

For fuck's sake.

Sort it or of abort it.

Let's get this clear.

My family is off-limits. All right?

This job is not going to get anywhere near my husband and my kids.

It just doesn't. Of course it fucking does!

As per the wee barcode and the serial number

under your right armpit, you are now built and owned by the state.

And you are under the spotlight 24 hours a day, darling.

Do you know what you are?