Already?

My God! They're so... They're so on it.

Could you brief me? Yes, sorry.

It's honestly nothing.

James works for Albany, which is the company that was awarded the PFI prisons contract by this department.

I know that sounds bad. But actually James wasn't at Albany

when the contracts were awarded and I wasn't here. Yeah, maybe.

I think you could just run that by Malcolm. And he's on his way. Not Malcolm.

What, now? Coming in... Yes, he'll be up in 25 seconds.

OK. Fuck, right. So Malcolm Tucker, Malcolm Tucker, Malcolm Tucker. Malcolm.

I'm not nervous. It's just Malcolm's sort of one of those things

that I'm aware of without ever having really come into contact with.

Like a rat.

No, he'd take that. He thinks of himself more as a sort of thin, white Mugabe.

Do you think? Because if you are worried about Malcolm,

we have amassed a few tips how to deal with him over the years.

We have worked out when he's going to give you a verbal colonic and some avoidance manoeuvres.

Tai Kwon spin.

Is this the number one ladies detective agency?

Malcolm Tucker. The real deal. Hello.

The real deal. Good to see you. You're looking great.

All right, hinge and bracket, time to go and hang up your ladycocks.

Nicola Murray. Here you are, Secretary of State

for the Department of Social Affairs and Citizenship.

Yup. I now have one of the longest job titles in western politics.

Thank God I don't have to wear a lapel badge.

It's a pity we couldn't make an abbreviation of it, you know, like PFI.

Which I think stands for Pretty Fucking Embarrassing.

If you're a bit sloppy about the details, which clearly your fucking husband is.

James works for Albany. He wasn't working there when the contract was awarded.

Don't worry. That was just me. That's the sort of thing the press will throw at you.

You step out of line, they'll be all over you. Like a pigeon on a chip.

Is that your chair?

Oh, God, yeah. It's cool, isn't it?

It's got lumbar support.

Bin it. People don't like their politicians to be comfortable.