Get me Nicola Murray. Yeah.

If she says no, the only other candidate's my left bollock

with a fucking smiley face drawn on it.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce the new Secretary of State

for the Department of Social Affairs and Citizenship, Nicola Murray.

Thank you. Hello. I'm Nicola. Lovely to meet you.

Hello. I'm Glenn Cullen. Hello, Ken. Lovely to meet you.

Oliver Reeder. Ollie.

These are just Hugh's, previous incumbent's...

So it's Ken and... Ollie Reeder. Are you an Ollie or an Oliver?

Whichever you prefer.

OK, well, I like the name Oliver.

Ollie.

Oh, you are an Ollie. I don't know why I said that. I'm the ideas man.

PHONE RINGS

Sorry. I just need one second.

Yes, I know. They frogmarched me into it.

I didn't know. I had no idea.

James, be fair. I left seven fucking messages for you.

Your secretary or whoever is useless.

I don't think the school thing's a problem.

It's not because they'll have vetted me at Number Ten.

And obviously nobody has soiled themselves or shot me.

Great. Well, I'll take you warm congratulations as implied.

Fucking arsehole.

All right? Yes, it's all bit crazy.

It just feels like my head's made entirely of smoke alarms.

It's all a bit, aah!

Well, it was a bit of a shock for us all. Well, you know, in a good way.

Like twins or a tax rebate.

Yes, let me continue with the tour.

That's such a nice chair.

This was Glenn's office. Any chance of getting something like that?

Would you like it moved to your office? That would be great. Can you do that? Right, Ollie.

Glenn and Ollie, what I need to know from you really is all the stuff that Terri's not going to tell me.

Oh, huge list! Where the bodies are buried.