and it's ended up at our door. So what are we getting?

Citizenship basically involves cutting pensions to the Gurkhas,

rejigging the protocols for rabies outbreaks, some crap from Health about long-term care for the elderly

that neither they nor we have any real idea about...

And everything to do with the Isle of Man.

Just what I fucking need - five new ways to lose my job.

Where did that come from?

Malcolm sent that.

It's far too big, why did he send it? Office warming present.

Why did he send us a present? I don't know.

Has security checked this? What for, tiny little terrorists?

Yes. It's a plant. Yes?!

So, citizenshit - what we need to do is knock together some nice,

touchy-feely, fondly, sneaky, hand-in-the-bra policies.

New bicycles for special constables, that sort of thing?

Making special needs kids clean up graffiti. That's just very mean.

Well, yes. Not as mean as making them spell graffiti, that genuinely is very mean.

I'll go and have a word with Malcolm. OK.

You just took a shit with your clothes on, Ollie.

Why? What...? Glenn's boy, Peter, he went to a special needs school. Oh.

Yeah.

Glenn's had sex?

God, you're such a prick, Ollie. It's just a joke...

There's more to life than having Nick Robinson's mobile number on your fucking Blackberry.

All right, fine, sorry, Hugh. I feel for the guy. I had a girlfriend with special needs once, so...

Luckily, I was able to fulfil them.

God, you're such a...

Haircut? Chemo. (Knob.)

Did you enjoy the show? You were magnificent, darling.

Should I phone Keith so that his team can watch you bollock me now?

No, no. Have I got my bollocking face on? Well...

No, this is my bollocking face.

Ooh, crikey, yes. Thanks for the pot plant, by the way.

Did I send that? As an office warming present.

Christ, she's a great PA, isn't she, Sam?

She always remembers the little people.