There you go. Break a leg, love.

And your neck and your wrist, it doesn't really matter.

I never act on impulse, I'm so not impulsive

and Malcolm made me do it and now, fuck.

What?

Launching this inquiry may prove to be misguided in that

I now recall I may have fleetingly supported the policy myself.

So you've essentially launched an investigation into yourself?

Malcolm made me do it. Oh, well, Malcolm, yeah.

You've met Malcolm.

I would have said that it was ethically bad, I'm sure. I said...

I'll tell you what you said, just give me a minute.

Brilliant, courtesy of the Telegraph website you said,

"Great revenue raiser but I'm afraid it's a no-no

"because of my bloody husband."

I'm sorry, why would you do that?

You remember all your emails, do you?

That you sent three years ago?

From what I understand from Olly, a large number were sent

to that married producer on the Daily Politics.

Olly is a fucking...because...

He was supposed to leave her and...

OK, while we're on our way back to London maybe

we should make a list of the things, you know, you're for and against.

Let's start with something simple. Animals in circuses? Tell you what,

why don't you make the little list

and shove it up your tight cold arse.

I just need to stare.

Have a good stare.

I believe that this government should be attacked

for its involvement in the tragic death of Mr Tickel.

But I do not believe that Nicola Murray is fit to lead such an attack

because email evidence has clearly shown that she herself,

when a minister, supported the exact same proposals.

Er, as for a brief and regrettable period of time did I.

And so it turns out I will not be seeking a front bench position in the foreseeable future.