So, listen, we are so grateful for you coming in at this ungodly hour.

Is there a problem? Yeah, there's a problem, you flapping your trap.

The issue is, the issue of you being an actress.

Right, I actually prefer actor.

I'm sorry, sexist, I'm sorry. Yeah, absolutely.

Essentially, you know, what you told us you know that was fundamentally honest,

it was the truth,

They were genuinely your thoughts, weren't they?

I haven't got two children but apart from that it was essentially...

Most of this is really to protect you...

You invented the kids? I was...

You made up small children?

I know small children. That's sick.

But I know small children, I was just being representative. Jesus Christ, I'd...

You invented children. I was giving you what you wanted.

Eventually you lose track of what you're saying and the lies compound themselves

and you end up all over the place like a crazy woman's shit and that's OUR problem.

What we've done is we've given the story to a tame journalist,

one who's more, you know, likely to be sympathetic.

Think about what is going to happen tomorrow.

Because tomorrow you are going to find the press all over you...

In a good way? No, not a good way at all.

That film Notting Hill, have you seen that? She's probably fucking in it.

You know that bit where the guy opens the door

and there's like millions of journalists and flash bulbs are going off.

That's going to be you, darling, they'll be all over you like fucking cockroaches.

It's OK, it's OK...

No, it's not OK, it's not going to be OK

and I'll tell you why because you're fair game

so I hope your knickers are clean because every sniffing shit-bag

that's ever filed a by-line is going to be questioning you,

cos now it's in the fucking public interest, isn't it?

And they're gonna hit you with any shit they can find

and you're going to be there in front of them like a trollop in the stocks.

I still don't really understand what's going on.

We can hold those dogs back, right...? Right.