She's in The fucking Bill.

Oh, Jesus!

This doesn't necessarily have to be a total fucking disaster.

It means she wasn't for real.

She's not really a stay-at-home middle-England housewife

she's just playing a part, so what she said wasn't, you know...

Yes, I do know.

What who said what, wasn't what?

Focus groups listen to the opinions of ordinary people, except they're not ordinary people,

they're fucking actors so they're not technically people at all.

Can I get back to you?

Your fucking legend is a fucking actress.

The focus group companies do it all the time,

if they can't copy together the right cross section they call a casting agency.

Hire an opinionist, it's only three Liberals, two fucking Mavericks and a racist!

We've based the whole thing on her, just her, her alone don't you see that.

Why didn't you run it past me for once? Oh, shit, shit!

THEY WHISPER: No, you didn't. It's not real.

I thought I recognised her. You know, she was in Midsomer Murders.

Why didn't you say anything? I saw her in Midsomer Murders...

I thought she might have a twin or something. What a stupid thing to think!

WHISPERING CONTINUES

Fuck, fuck!

CRASH!

You said she...

Yes... Come out of the cupboard, Hugh. No.

Hugh, we have to sort this out.

When I asked you about the focus group... Yeah.

You said she loved it.

We gave her a one-on-one.

Why?

She's middle England.

So "middle England" is a big fucking field with one woman standing in it.

Do you think Hewitt will find out?

Of course he fucking will, she's his mole.

That's why he's got a piece in the paper tomorrow.