Looks like a fun runner's lost his way.

Why are there bits of food wandering about?

Are you for the chop? It's a fucking hack pack.

Any comment on Dan Miller's article? No comment, be gracious, smile, look good. No questions.

Are you for the chop, Mrs Murray? Oh, it's a chop!

Oh, it's that dick from The Mirror who... Are you top of the chops?

Ha-ha-ha, very funny. Thank you.

You, fuck off! Get back to the fucking Flintstones.

Turn up like that again I'll fucking stick that down your throat

and pull it out your arse.

That's enough. I don't even do things I enjoy for that long! That's it!

No questions, Nicola's got a government to bring down.

No comment, no comment, thanks very much.

Why did we have to stand there smiling like that?

You think it'd be better if you were seen in tears?

I just think my face next to a chop does not look good

unless I'm applying for a job in ASDA!

Why pictures of her coming from Shadow Cabinet?

Maybe they don't want pictures of her, maybe they want you.

Maybe they want pictures of an over-botoxed Nancy Dell'Olio?

Right, the first chance you get just go and deal with Dan.

Tear him a new bum or whatever it is people say.

Right, right, right, right, right.

I mean, what would possess you to walk about the streets

with notes just...there for anybody to see?

They're my notes but they're your shit suggestions.

Well, I'm not the one flapping them about in such a way

that the press can take pictures of them! How was I to know?

They were taking a photo of Nicola... Cos you're an adult...

"Quite Batpeople" on EVERY fucking paper!

Right, this is a wake-up call.

By the way, the next time you want to make Nicola look like a clown,

with her fucking hair on fire,

why don't you just take your notes down to Snappy Snaps

and get them blown up to gigantic cheque size

so the partially sighted can be in on the fucking gag?!