That's bollocks. It's cos I'm the girl at the party nobody wants to dance with.

I'm the freak in the corner with a pint of cider and blackcurrant and the funny eye.

No, no. I mean, it's a big Rolodex full of numbers...

Thank you, you may go. We still would like to dance with you.

Fuck off! Go and put your glasses back on.

Malcolm? Sarah Jennings. Welcome to the BBC.

Did you have any trouble getting here? No, I had trouble getting in.

They thought I was a terrorist. If you'd like to take a seat down there.

We're really very excited.

Yeah. This could be the highlight of my career.

And I've taken a dump in the White House.

That's great banter, that's exactly what we're looking for. Is it?

So, this pitch.

It's for the sort of person who tried coke once but didn't like it - it's a BBC Three show.

It's a bullshit description but, you know, it paints a picture.

Who didn't like coke?

Oh! Yeah. So the idea is, you're going to be

talking to other people who, like you, have been through the shits.

For this, I was thinking Brian Keenan? Kerry Katona?

Sorry, do you mind?

Sorry, I have got to take this.

Yeah, no...no worries.

We'll continue this. Yeah? Hello?

Oh, hello. Where did you go for lunch, Belgium?

I was meeting a friend. Oh, right.

Meanwhile, back in Gotham City, the Express is running the idea

that your victim support scheme is actually a rapist's charter.

And Steve Fleming wants you to do some local media.

There's this guy who's very angry his dead mum

keeps getting sent parking tickets, so can we cover that?

So, dead mum, rapists. Yep, all good.

Ollie, could you assemble a policy profile for me

for the Centre for Economic Reform out of Yale?

Yes I can, why? Just curiosity - it's a very interesting think tank.

You haven't been offered a job or anything, have you?

You might comment. I couldn't possibly say yes.