What, check? Oh. Fuck you.

You know, politics is like a game of chess, Glenn, in so far as you're shit at both of them.

Excuse me.

Arh, that's what we need, yes. The one-man smarmy army.

Malcolm, is it George Alagiah?

What? Fuck, it's George Alagiah. Is he here for me?

I could lose everything now.

They'll dig out that picture of me at the sports day

difficulties.

Nicola Murray will, today, use a policy speech to announce her candidancy.

evening.

Permission to speak, frankly and off the record? Yeah.

She's an idiot.

I know that she's in the cabinet but that's like being disabled at a football match.

She's very close to the action but hardly likely to score a goal.

No. How is that offensive?

That is a very fair and accurate portrayal of just how fucking retarded she is.

you went to Cadbury World.

Come on, Nicola, you've got to admit, from the outside it's pretty funny.

The prime minister goes away and you're dressed up as one of the ThunderCats.

CONVERTS LAUGH TO A COUGH

It's awful, some of the things people write on these comments.

They are... It's so cruel, isn't it?

"Nicola Murray is staging a leadership bid. Who is Nicola Murray?

She doesn't exist.

"I would rather cut off my hands than vote for that disgrace.

"Does anyone else here think she looks like Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight?"

Are you e-mailing?

Are you stirring this up? Is that why you came in to DoSAC today?

Did you have a big bucket of shit and a whisk?

No.

Yes. A bit.

What are you saying? Just... Joan Rivers wants to be the new prime minister.

Have a look at this clip of her online staking her bid.

You treacherous shit. It's not my fault you're dressed up like a dead geisha.

Why are you doing this?