Sure you don't want a chip?

Do you know any jokes?

I'll tell you what, the chips down south are a joke.

I'll text me mate, I'll see if she knows any.

You texting her now then, your friend? No, I'm tweeting.

Tweeting? You mean like Twitter?

Just, er...

just want to get a pickled egg. Hang on a sec.

Hi, Terri. Hi, listen, it's Julie.

She tweets. Hang on. Julie tweets, what does that mean?

Twitter. Tweets on Twitter. It's like a social networking site.

You type in a text but it goes to anybody and anyone can access it.

And she's tweeting now, is she? 'She's tweeted.'

Right, find out what she's saying.

Hello. She's singing like a canary.

She's twittering about Terri.

Listen, it's too hot for me here.

I've got to get out. All right. Look, I want out, Nicola.

OK, Terri, calm down, I'm going to ring Malcolm.

This is no good for fucking pacing.

Malcolm, Nicola. Julie tweets.

Tweets on Twitter, say she's on Twitter. She tweets on Twitter.

Christ on a cross trainer, Nicola, Julie's the fucking leak.

I told you.

Get her back here right now so I can loofah her to death.

Oh, what a day.

Is that her? Oh, no, two blokes. Are you sure you don't want one?

You mightn't get another chance to eat all day.

That is literally mashed up Dalmatian head and sawdust,

you know that? Is it?

On the other hand I am fucking starving.

Oh, here comes checkpoint Charlie.

She's over there. I'm really sorry, Terri.

Yes, well the apology's noted. Noted. Not accepted.

No, not accepted, noted. Oh, you look awful.

Thanks. Do you want a chip?