Look, the department's not fit for purpose, really.

No, it's not. Terri's quite bad...

Not just Terri, I'm not going to name names, but there's Robyn. Robyn's shit.

All right. Fuck off.

I'm sure we can settle this matter of...

You were eavesdropping on a private conversation?

It was a public conversation.

No, you think you're so clever and you are so totally wanking with the wrong crowd here, because...

This man, right, this man is the press.

I mis-spoke and I mis-saw you.

Nicola. Fuck. What've I done?

D'you think this is going to advance your career?

At least my career's got a trajectory,

whereas yours is about to crash head-on into a change of government.

Don't you worry, because I can still steer some fucking flaming wreckage in your direction.

Once it's printed, I promise I'll come back to you for reaction quote. How's that?

Darling, I wouldn't fucking piss on you if you were allergic to piss.

On the you go. Walk the walk.

Fuck right off. Go on.

We'll live through this, won't we? Nicola, I've got the list whenever you're ready. I'm ready now.

I can do it in reverse order like the pop charts. How was meet the press?

Not great. They didn't know about the data loss, they do now.

OK. Well, off the record, they can't use any of it.

No, I was ambushed by a not-off-the-record journalist.

Never mind! Onwards and upwards!

Oh, fuck! From now on, none of us let her out of our sight.

She's not to be trusted. Sorry, Minister. Terri?

Yes? Where in the Civil Service guidelines does it say that it's

absolutely fine to leave your minister alone with a hostile journalist

if you just can't be arsed to walk down the stairs? I'd already pressed the button.

However, it was supposed to be on Ollie's stick, so he is the last man standing.

Hey! At least I know how to use a stick, Mr Floppy. Have you finished? Well, no.

I imagine I'm going to have to be doing it over and over again until you go on the fucking course.

OK. Let's call a truce.

Let's agree that nobody in this room is going to be sacked, OK?

For now. I've still got the original list here, let's start with that.