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Policy Unit Press Office Incident Reports

Last updated: 11/10/2025 | System ID: DQARS-2024

Incident Reports

Official documentation of various crises

1,794 items

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Search ministerial quotes

Jamie McDonald

Terri Coverley

Screenshots

Screenshot: right down in your schedules and
bring the Hugh Abbot story right up.

right down in your schedules and bring the Hugh Abbot story right up.

Screenshot: This story, this Hugh Abbot...
What the fuck is ROMFuP?

This story, this Hugh Abbot... What the fuck is ROMFuP?

Screenshot: and his advisor, pretty much telling
a member of the public to fuck off.

and his advisor, pretty much telling a member of the public to fuck off.

Screenshot: Just bear with me. ..For fuck's sake!

Just bear with me. ..For fuck's sake!

Screenshot: You and Jamie and a rubber truncheon
locked in that fucking newsroom.
No, I'm fine.

You and Jamie and a rubber truncheon locked in that fucking newsroom. No, I'm fine.

Screenshot: 'All right, shitebag. Done it yet?'
I'm just in the middle of doing it.

'All right, shitebag. Done it yet?' I'm just in the middle of doing it.

Screenshot: Well fucking hurry up!

Well fucking hurry up!

Screenshot: Get off the fucking phone!

Get off the fucking phone!

Screenshot: Fuck's sake!

Fuck's sake!

Screenshot: I'm fucking doing it.

I'm fucking doing it.

Screenshot: Fuck off. Give me the picture,
it's already been done.

Fuck off. Give me the picture, it's already been done.

Screenshot: No, I never knew my mother,
Hugh, as you remember.

No, I never knew my mother, Hugh, as you remember.

Screenshot: Oh! Oh! He is SO fucked!

Oh! Oh! He is SO fucked!

Screenshot: I don't know
if I'll survive this, Hugh.

I don't know if I'll survive this, Hugh.

Screenshot: Not much
of a fucking soldier, is he?

Not much of a fucking soldier, is he?

Screenshot: 'Ollie, hi. It's Hugh. I just
wanted to say thank you very much.

'Ollie, hi. It's Hugh. I just wanted to say thank you very much.

Screenshot: It's up to the PM. I'll go wherever
he wants. Bye-bye. Morning. Morning,
Minister.

It's up to the PM. I'll go wherever he wants. Bye-bye. Morning. Morning, Minister.

Screenshot: I would like to know, why did we
have a minister on last night who
did not appear to know the lines?

I would like to know, why did we have a minister on last night who did not appear to know the lines?

Screenshot: He looked like he didn't know
what he was fucking talking about.

He looked like he didn't know what he was fucking talking about.

Screenshot: He doesn't know what he
was fucking talking about, but he's
got to appear as if he does, right?

He doesn't know what he was fucking talking about, but he's got to appear as if he does, right?

Screenshot: For all your respective ministers.

For all your respective ministers.

Screenshot: Hugh, after Cabinet,
you are going to...

Hugh, after Cabinet, you are going to...

Screenshot: Come the fuck in or
fuck the fuck off.

Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off.

Screenshot: I'll come the fuck in, then.
It's just something that
Nicholson's flown.

I'll come the fuck in, then. It's just something that Nicholson's flown.

Screenshot: All right then, see you then. Hugh.
I thought you would want to
know as soon as possible. What?

All right then, see you then. Hugh. I thought you would want to know as soon as possible. What?

Screenshot: Mind you, that means you could have
his department. You are kidding.
Well, fuck you very much.

Mind you, that means you could have his department. You are kidding. Well, fuck you very much.

Screenshot: As the minister said to the prince,
"Don't be surprised if
we abolish you."

As the minister said to the prince, "Don't be surprised if we abolish you."

Screenshot: Are you all right? I'm fucking
all right. I can fucking look
after myself.

Are you all right? I'm fucking all right. I can fucking look after myself.

Screenshot: The Prime Minister's missus.
Oh, you don't know?

The Prime Minister's missus. Oh, you don't know?

Screenshot: You just didn't click.
We couldn't click! We were
talking about the fucking Euro!

You just didn't click. We couldn't click! We were talking about the fucking Euro!

Screenshot: How are you supposed to click over
the Euro? It's fucking impossible.
Don't take it so personally.

How are you supposed to click over the Euro? It's fucking impossible. Don't take it so personally.

Screenshot: Thank you. Can I have
the fucking digest, please?

Thank you. Can I have the fucking digest, please?

Screenshot: Hello. Hello.
Um... Morning, Minister.

Hello. Hello. Um... Morning, Minister.

Screenshot: Ollie, realistically, I'm not going
to get promotion, not while
this Prime Minister's still in power?

Ollie, realistically, I'm not going to get promotion, not while this Prime Minister's still in power?

Screenshot: ..went, you know. What does
that mean? Fuck knows what it means,

..went, you know. What does that mean? Fuck knows what it means,

Screenshot: but I don't think it means, "Oh,
Hugh, you're fantastic.

but I don't think it means, "Oh, Hugh, you're fantastic.

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