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Department for Social Affairs & Citizenship

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Ministerial Database

Policy Unit Press Office Incident Reports

Last updated: 11/10/2025 | System ID: DQARS-2024

Incident Reports

Official documentation of various crises

1,794 items

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Search ministerial quotes

Jamie McDonald

Terri Coverley

Screenshots

Screenshot: I'll tell you what Derrida said,
he said, "Go fuck your face, Abbot!"

I'll tell you what Derrida said, he said, "Go fuck your face, Abbot!"

Screenshot: Can't even get out of
the fucking room!

Can't even get out of the fucking room!

Screenshot: You've made quite a U-turn on
SEN schools, haven't you, Minister?

You've made quite a U-turn on SEN schools, haven't you, Minister?

Screenshot: "Not two experts? Less than three
but not two?" Fucking bitch.

"Not two experts? Less than three but not two?" Fucking bitch.

Screenshot: It worked. I was on the floor
in a big fucking nappy.

It worked. I was on the floor in a big fucking nappy.

Screenshot: Oh, shit, that's Malcolm.

Oh, shit, that's Malcolm.

Screenshot: He's gone. Look, Hugh, come out.

He's gone. Look, Hugh, come out.

Screenshot: Were you hiding just now, Hugh? No.

Were you hiding just now, Hugh? No.

Screenshot: You will say, "I'm really
fucking sorry for sounding like
a hairy-arsed docker after 12 pints,

You will say, "I'm really fucking sorry for sounding like a hairy-arsed docker after 12 pints,

Screenshot: "Can we just draw a line under this
and fucking move on? Thank you."

"Can we just draw a line under this and fucking move on? Thank you."

Screenshot: "It was actually the Minister
for Social Affairs and Citizenship
who called a small child a cunt.

"It was actually the Minister for Social Affairs and Citizenship who called a small child a cunt.

Screenshot: because what you'd be doing is
condemning a guy who's doing his
fucking best to make things better,

because what you'd be doing is condemning a guy who's doing his fucking best to make things better,

Screenshot: Yeah, but if she doesn't know,
then it doesn't matter, Hugh.

Yeah, but if she doesn't know, then it doesn't matter, Hugh.

Screenshot: Shit! She's on to us, why else would
she...? Have you got the diaries?

Shit! She's on to us, why else would she...? Have you got the diaries?

Screenshot: Hugh,
go and get Ollie and Glenn in here.

Hugh, go and get Ollie and Glenn in here.

Screenshot: Hugh, take your fingers
out your fucking ears.

Hugh, take your fingers out your fucking ears.

Screenshot: YOU grow up.
I am a fucking grown up, thank you.

YOU grow up. I am a fucking grown up, thank you.

Screenshot: you massive, gay SHITE!

you massive, gay SHITE!

Screenshot: Fuck off!

Fuck off!

Screenshot: Yeah. That is not
fucking funny, you retard.

Yeah. That is not fucking funny, you retard.

Screenshot: 'Good afternoon.'
Christ, there's that fucking sofa.

'Good afternoon.' Christ, there's that fucking sofa.

Screenshot: Whoa, whoa, whoa - she's gone off
script here. Fucking hell, Terri...

Whoa, whoa, whoa - she's gone off script here. Fucking hell, Terri...

Screenshot: the Minister, my colleagues,

the Minister, my colleagues,

Screenshot: Yeah, brilliant, Malcolm, well done.
Fucking stunning.

Yeah, brilliant, Malcolm, well done. Fucking stunning.

Screenshot: Absolutely. I'm never going to get
out of this fucking building, am I?

Absolutely. I'm never going to get out of this fucking building, am I?

Screenshot: D'you remember when I came down to
see Peter's concert at his school?

D'you remember when I came down to see Peter's concert at his school?

Screenshot: Yeah? Yeah. Fucking unbearable,
that's why I needed Malcolm's expert
to try and wipe it from my mind.

Yeah? Yeah. Fucking unbearable, that's why I needed Malcolm's expert to try and wipe it from my mind.

Screenshot: Hasn't really worked though.
Oh, Hugh, mate,
don't panic, you'll manage,

Hasn't really worked though. Oh, Hugh, mate, don't panic, you'll manage,

Screenshot: his name is Peter and he has
special educational needs.

his name is Peter and he has special educational needs.

Screenshot: But I had the privilege
of going down with Glenn
to Peter's SEN school

But I had the privilege of going down with Glenn to Peter's SEN school

Screenshot: and watched Peter playing
the trombone in the school orchestra.

and watched Peter playing the trombone in the school orchestra.

Screenshot: D'you know, I wish I'd kept
Peter's trombone because if I had,

D'you know, I wish I'd kept Peter's trombone because if I had,

Screenshot: I didn't do it Hugh, d'you remember?
You sent the e-mail.

I didn't do it Hugh, d'you remember? You sent the e-mail.

Screenshot: Hugh, go to the gents, please,

Hugh, go to the gents, please,

Screenshot: by squirting human shit
through the sprinklers.

by squirting human shit through the sprinklers.

Screenshot: Hugh, check it out - Malcolm
Tucker is leaving the building.

Hugh, check it out - Malcolm Tucker is leaving the building.

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Incident Reports - Page 12 | DOSAC.UK