Caption: He's useless.

I thought you were organising it. Oh, for Christ...

Get coffee, get, um, danish pastries, croissants and... Danish pastries, croissants... No, no, no!

Fruit! Get lots of fruit. Can you get fruit? A pile of fruit and lots of coffee. Now! OK?

He's absolutely useless! He is! He's useless! He's as useless as a marzipan dildo.

I've got to go. The minister's just walked in.

Don't interrupt your call because of me. You're a minister of the Crown.

You don't need to listen to all of my chutney!

I'm sure it's much, much more interesting than chutney.

No, no, no. It's... It's a...

my cock-up, as usual. I thought that Graham Dixon was doing a briefing, and it turns out it's Graham Hughes.

Too many Grahams around. We ought to kill some of them. Exactly!

So... So...