Caption: Um...have you got him coffee?

Malcolm? Where? In there? In there. Why?

It's just a social call.

A social call? Jesus Christ! Yeah.

Did you get him coffee?

I thought you were organising it. Oh, for Christ...

Get coffee, get, um, danish pastries, croissants and... Danish pastries, croissants... No, no, no!

Fruit! Get lots of fruit. Can you get fruit? A pile of fruit and lots of coffee. Now! OK?

He's useless.

He's absolutely useless! He is! He's useless! He's as useless as a marzipan dildo.

I've got to go. The minister's just walked in.

Don't interrupt your call because of me. You're a minister of the Crown.

You don't need to listen to all of my chutney!