Can you handle that, fuckwit?

Can you fucking handle it? Yes, I can handle it.

MOBILE RINGS

Don't even think about it!

Emma, not right now.

Your fucking girlfriend! Are you off your head?! You said...

Don't give me any fucking static,

just ring her back now. Meet her for coffee as soon as. What?

Sometimes, when you meet the real... The actual people...

Don't you ever, I mean, just look at the little, beady eyes and mean mouths sort of sneering,

and... I mean, I know this is what they think people like me think, so I hate thinking it,

but I just find myself thinking,

"They're from a different fucking species."

You know, T-shirts, and weird trousers, and...

Why do they wear clothes with writing on them,

and why are they so fucking fat? And stupid.

God, I hate this place.

Ollie, it's Glenn. I've got Hugh for you.

Right, Ollie.

Yeah, hi. So, is Malcolm doing his witchcraft?

Has he sent his flying monkeys in?

Bernadette. Where's the fucking fax from the Standard?

Not exactly, Hugh.

Wait. This other story, he's not going to stitch me up, is he?

Everything is...incredibly busy in here right now.

I just need you to keep me out of the firing line, Ollie.

It's slightly difficult,

cos I'm only one pawn in this, and a pawn can't take a queen, can it?

Yes, it can.

Technically, yes, of course it can, but, you know...

A queen is a lot bigger than a pawn, isn't it?

I know, but if you get a pawn over to the other side of the board, Ollie,

it can become a queen, or a bishop, or a senior advisor.

You hear what I'm saying?

Yes, yes. I understand.

I really need you to keep me out of the firing line.