"Hugh Abbot, today announced...

"I'm the fuckin' daddy!"

There was a SMARMY piece in The Guardian, though. Did you see it?

Dan fucking Miller! Yeah.

"Ooh, all the work I've done on the Standing Committee." Fine. My pie is extremely large, as you may notice.

Pie for all my friends! Yeah.

"My Jacuzzi is king-sized and everybody can...

"plonk their asses on the bubble-jets..."

Is that from something? No.

Dan Miller is a junior minister and he's not done at all badly. Just a bit green. Now... You turning...

..a bit green yourself there, minister? What're you saying? What you saying? You saying I'm jealous?

No, it's just a...little thing.

You know those invisible lines...? Yeah. ..you just stepped over it... The problem with it being invisible.

..again. Um, I...

have...just been invited to... KNOCK AT DOOR

DANNY BOY! < Oh, lovely(!) Man of the hour!

..just been invited to...

Gorgeous! Lovely to see you.

Well done! You did so bloody well. Thank you!

You're looking well! Fantastic! Could you do GMTV for me tomorrow?

I'd love to do GMTV for you tomorrow. Dan... Thank you very much! Nice and early.

No, no, I don't mind. Thanks so much.

How are you doing? Good? Well, the debate did got very well and the bill's going through, so... Um...

I've got stuff I need... No, fine.

..I have been invited... How are you, Glenn? Good, thank you.

Actually... ..I thought you were heavy-handed with the backbenchers. No need for it nowadays. Glenn.

You know as well as I do, if you're gonna make an omelette,

you're going to have to have frank and honest discussion with the eggs.

That's all I was doing. MOBILE RINGS

Hello, Malcolm! 'Dan! How are you doing?!'

'How are YOU, you terrier?' Listen, I'm just calling because...

'you're gathering a lot of very influential admirers.' Oh, really?

You're irresistible, you know that? You are.

I have a sort of feeling you're pulling my pisser. No, I wouldn't pull YOUR pisser, pal.

I know where it's fucking been.

'Listen, I've got to go, I've got Tom on my other line.' OK.