No, think about it, this isn't what we want. This is too soon.

The mechanics of the leadership election are not in place.

Right, we've got to get her off that stage.

Go and piss in a fuse box, or finger a security guard.

I'll bundle her out during the melee. We need to stop Nicola announcing.

Rumour has it that the government is going to drop the breakfast club policy. Oh, shit!

But just a rumour, yeah?

Yes, I'm just getting it You need to signal her to stop.

You've got a signal? Er... We never agreed on one.

You don't have a fucking signal? You must, from Hampstead Heath?

Didn't Nicola mention something about iceberg?

As in you're going to crash into an iceberg. OK, how do I do that?

That's subtle(!) Get in, whatever it is. I'll do a triangle.

In times of deep crisis, tribal politics can act as a break upon it.

And it's down...to us to rise above this and think...

What is that? Breached birth? It's a fucking iceberg.

Upside down uterus. Shut up, Olly!

..that we're endorsing fully and unreservedly

a pay freeze for the coastguard

AND an end to the ring-fencing of funds

to provide primary school breakfast clubs.

We are in concurrence with the government

because we are in unity with the British people.

Any questions?

Mrs Murray, did you know that the government have just announced

that they are dropping the reform on primary school breakfast clubs?

(Pretend you heard another question.)

Er, yes, yes, we, er, yes.

Breakfast, er, really is a...

really is a meal for the whole family, er, and, er...

I think that we regard that as...

You've got some nice fake concern going on there, Malcolm.

I'm sorry?

Undermining Nicola. You're getting off on this.

You've got some sort of agenda.

Don't you dare question my loyalty to my leader or my party ever again.