And you? Ah, a bit of a quiet one.

Just a bottle of pinot and Twitter-abusing the cast of Glee.

Was kind of wonderful in its own way.

Malcolm, can I have a couple of words?

Political lightweight? Making up the numbers?

Sorry, that's four, isn't it? Lovely, lovely, yeah, you still got it(!)

But, erm, seriously, can I just, er...

'Don't take too wide a step.' 'Start with the right.'

'Yes. OK, so relax.'

Cenotaph, here.

Right. OK? Off you go.

Yeah, I think that's TOO slow.

A minute ago you said I was too fast.

You look like Sleeping Beauty, that's just weird.

You look like you've been dug up. OK.

Do you remember when you got married?

I'd rather fucking not. OK, Nicola...

Olly, shit! I had it then.

Right, sorry to interrupt you at this very SAD time,

er, but we do have Prime Minister's Questions in one hour.

No, it's fine, I've got the lead question,

I've got the follow up sarcastic question

and I've got the withering put down, so I'm prepped, I'm fucking prepped.

Yep, you'll walk rings round him(!)

Erm, this does seem to be taking an awfully long time.

Is that too bouncy? What do you mean "bouncy"?

Cos that's helping with my balance but if it looks... Bouncy?!

It is too bouncy. Well, that's... You've over exaggerated now.

It's like you've got rickets.

Its Remembrance Sunday. THAT'S what your face should be doing - remembering.

Think of a sad thing and rememb... Not remembering!

You don't want to be going along going, "Oh, that reminds..."

Is that what you do when you're remembering?

I think I've got it, I've got it. Right, let's see. Look, watch.

I'm starting with my left foot but never mind that.

Now my shoe's coming off.