Emma, poppet. Look, Peter is going almost violently off-message

over at 5 Live so I'm afraid I'm going to have to scramble you.

I've sent a cab round. Just call me when you're en-route.

And if you get any problems, solve those problems.

OK, Stewart, I'm on my way.

What? I've got to go to the office. I thought we had to talk.

CBI speech. I'll talk to you later. Oh, right, OK. I've got to go.

What we would be looking for is getting people to inspire each other out of poverty, out of disadvantage.

How can you be "inspired"

out of poverty?

Well, I'm choosing to ignore your rather cynical tone...

No, I'm not being cynical, Nicky Murray.

It's a perfectly legitimate question.

How can you be inspired out of poverty?

our initiatives is to designate...

Nicola, fourth. ..certain people as fourth-sector pathfinders.

pillars of a normal community...

Give a little review.

Have-a-go heroes, for example. No, we're talking about everyday heroes.

I assume you'd want to avoid Charles Bronson style vigilantes.

Oh, yes! Yes, we don't want Charles Bronson.

More Charles, er...er...Dance.

Or Chaplin.

Peter Mannion, the animosity between you...

Out!

All right!

Is that Nicola's doctor? Probably trying to book a circumcision.

Malcolm? Are producing porno now for the visually impaired?

What? Because what I'm hearing here on the radio is Nicola Murray being roundly fucked.

What is this - Bukaki at Bedtime?

Just...fuck, put Ollie on.

Ollie? Um, well, he's not here. He's at home.

Tell that fucking stick of celery to get his arse out of there and get down to 5 Live right now.

she's coming across

like a Nazi float at the fucking Notting Hill carnival.

It seems to me what I call a political meringue -