I can see you hate the idea, so you'll be able to find the snags.

Stuart. Aah, Peter. I'm glad we could hook up.

Just wanted to take a couple of turns with you on the ideas carousel, yeah?

Think of ways we can turn your team into a little cluster of excellence.

You wanted to have a chat? What's this?

That's just Phil's Klingon horoscope!

It's an implementation matrix. Well, clearly two axis lead

to the mid-point to create four diametrically opposed quadrants!

I like the plasmic nature of your data modelling! Nice!

A child's photograph? What is that doing up there?

There, happy now?

Now I'm confused! Who is that? No-one, it's a Cylon Centurion.

Phil, help me out here. Look, what are these vectors, Posh and Shit?

They refer to schools.

independent girls' school,

but she's been moved here - a comprehensive in the middle of a poor area.

First, she opts out of the state education system, which is bad,

then, presumably under pressure from the party machine, she says, "Sod your life-chances, Cylon, darling,

"Mummy's going to send you here" - to save her political career. Badissimo!

We're not!

The point of departure is this... "Knowledge is porridge"!

Oh, Jesus, Stuart, that doesn't even fucking rhyme!

Let me have a go! All right.

Look, suppose we are saying that Nicola Murray should have stuck to her guns and sent her daughter here,

Posh, you see, Stuart, I can do this stuff. Then we look...

elitist, out of touch with ordinary parents,

or do we say, "No, Posh is wrongissimo"?

OK, look, look, look, let's pause, yeah, let's switch off the sat nav,

pull over, electric soft-top back on, switch off the engine.

I'm not getting in the back seat with you, if this is where this game is going!

Let's imagine the narrative. Oh, goody!

So let's imagine in the narrative that Peter here may know something

about this, but refuses to tell you. "It's beneath his dignity", say.

I hate to be a spoilsport, but can we refocus on our visit to DoSAC Yeah, who you meeting?

I've got a couple of meetings with the two top people - the big swinging dicks.

Don't forget the tiny static dicks.